Clio dreamed of... El Cid

           'What a good vassal, if only had a good liege!' In Spain, almost everyone will tell you this quote is somehow linked to one of our medieval heros. Rodrigo Diaz de Vivar, most known by the nickname 'the Cid'. The man who failed to defend his King. The man who forced a King to swear he was innocent of a crime. The man who took a city with a slice of bread. And the man who won a battle after actually being dead. Come, all of you, and let me tell you the tale of the deeds of Rodrigo Diaz, lord of Vivar.

           "¡Qué buen vasallo fuera, si tuviera buen señor!" En España mucha gente te dirá inmediatamente que esta cita está de alguna forma vinculada a uno de nuestros héroes medievales, Rodrigo Diaz de Vivar, más conocido por el sobrenombre de "El Cid". El hombre que fracasó al defender la vida de su rey. El hombre que obligó a otro rey a jurar que era inocente de un crimen. El hombre que conquistó una ciudad con unas barras de pan (del día, no duro). Venid, venid todos y dejad que os cuente el cuento de las gestas de Rodrigo Díaz, Señor de Vivar.



A la versión en castellano

To the English version

...Rodrigo Diaz of Vivar, the Cid

The story within the legend

'Swearing at Santa Gadea',  Picture by Marcos Hiráldez Acosta (1864), on display at the Spanish Senate House

A new enemy

     A solemn music is playing in background. The image on our imaginary T.V. shows us a scarred and flattered land, with a lonely village smoking at some distance. As the camera focus, little by little, in the helpless and plundered village, a narrator speaks. ‘At the end of the 11th century, Spain was a country in turmoil’. What? Yes, I know, it still is. No, seriously, it was even worse then. Ok, not by that much. But a little bit worse. Can I go on, please? Thanks. Solemn music playing in the background, again. ‘The land was divided between kings and lords, while half the country was still under Islamic rule. From Morocco, a new Empire had appeared, threatening the survival of both the Muslims and Christian kingdoms of Spain: -ominous drums- the Almohad Empire.’ You see, it wasn’t that difficult to actually hear. Damn it.

     In 1090 the Almohad Caliphate invaded Spain, conquering one by one the petty Muslim emirates in the South of the country, and eager to advance to the North and defeat the long-hated Christian kingdoms. The most important of those Christian kingdoms was the Kingdom of Castile. And it was to the King of Castile, Fernando I, to stop the threat.

A quarrelsome succession.

     But Fernando was an old man, and died short before facing the new enemy. According to tradition, Fernando's last will divided his kingdom between his three sons, just as you will do someday with your sons. By this time Rodrigo Diaz, lord of Vivar was a famous and important knight under Fernando's elder son, Sancho. In fact, he was his personal squire and friend. 

     Just as your sons will do after you are safely and –hopefully- permanently dead, Fernando’s sons immediately started a quarrel about their share of their fathers properties. Only when you are a king a familiar dispute at lunchtime about who inherits your mother’s crockery may become an actual war involving the use of pointed remarks, slices of bread and, if worse comes to worse, spoons. 

     Sancho II won that war, partially thanks to Rodrigo's aid, and became King of Castile, Leon and Galicia. But his sister, Urraca –yes, seriously, it was her name, and I want to point out it is a perfect and proper Castilian name. For a bird- rebelled against him in Zamora. Even worse, Alfonso, one of Sancho's defeated brothers, fled to Zamora and joined Urraca. What a family, man… isn’t it nice to be a parent?

     Once more Rodrigo went to a civil war. Looks like a national sport in Spain; soccer, bullfights and killing each other. But during the siege of Zamora, King Sancho II was slaughtered by treason by a loyal vassal of his brother Alfonso when going to meet him to sign a truce, thus losing the match for accidental deceasing. Rodrigo was with him, but couldn’t prevent his friend’s death. Of course, suspicions arouse about Alfonso’s involvement in his brother’s murder, as he was to become king if something happened to Sancho. But Detective Lieutenant Colombo wasn’t around there to figure it out. And nobody else dared to.

The 'Traitor's Gate' in Zamora, through which it's said Bellido Dolfos, murderer of Sancho II, fled into Zamora after killing the King.

 Swearing at Santa Gadea

Well, actually, our friend Rodrigo Diaz is going to spectacularly dare to. Alfonso VI was proclaimed King at Santa Gadea’s Church, in Burgos. In Castile, kings are proclaimed, not crowned -they're supposed to bring the crown from home, we Castilians are an austere people after all. Following the proclamation, the new king is supposed to receive tribute form their vassals, who one by one bends his or her knee and swears loyalty to the new king. But when it comes to Rodrigo Diaz to do so, he refuses. In front of all the astonished and perplexed nobles and clergymen of Castile he demands Alfonso to swear on the Bible he didn't plot to murder his brother Sancho. Alfonso, smiling but feeling forced, complies. Rodrigo, then, bends his knee and swear loyalty to Alfonso. Alfonso, looking like a very very very happy man, decided he owed one to that man. You'd better learn this lesson: do not piss a king off.  

The exile. Rodrigo becomes the Cid.

While Sancho and Alfonso and Rodrigo played their particular show of Castilian Game of Thrones, the Almohade Caliphate consolidated its gains in al-Andalus and launched an attack against Castile. Alfonso, now Alfonso VI, wanted to stop the Muslims in pitched battle, but Rodrigo advised him not to. Regardless of his advice, Alfonso fought and was defeated, square and round, at Sagrajas. Rodrigo didn’t show up at the battle though Alfonso, somehow, expected him to come to his help. So Alfonso declared Rodrigo a 'felon' -a traitor, a noble without honor- and condemned him and anyone who helped him to death. Therefore, Rodrigo went to exile and became a mercenary.

As a mercenary, Rodrigo sold his sword, Tizona, to what master wanted to pay for it. I mean, by selling the sword, that the sword included not only an arm to hold it -Rodrigo’s arm- but also the rest of the body attached to that arm. And a couple hundred warriors who decided to follow Rodrigo to exile. He became a very close friend of the Amir of Zaragoza, the only remaining independent Muslim King of Spain and, also, an enemy of the Almohads. From him he got the nickname 'al-Sidi' -eventually becoming 'el Cid'-, meaning 'the lord'. From him, too, the Cid learns that the Almohads planned an ‘Overlord’ op in Valencia in order to launch a new offensive against both Christian and Muslims lords of the Peninsula, with Zaragoza as their main aim. 



The Iberian Peninsula in the time of The Cid. Picture from www.historynet.com

 

The Cid rides into legend

Here is where the legend starts. The Cid decides to act, allies himself with the Amir of Zaragoza, and asks help to the King of Castile, willing to unite all Spaniards, regardless of their religion, against a foreign foe. The plan is to seize Valencia before the Almohad attacked, and stop their disembarking on its tracks. But Alfonso was still angry and hesitates. 

The Cid, with a clever trick, seizes Valencia. He first starved the city, and then bombarded it with bread so the people opened him the gates, just like the government first take your money and after some time gives you back a little bit of it so you become very happy with it. A lot of his followers, both Muslims and Christians, want him to become King of Valencia. But the Cid refuses, and, instead, sends the Crown of Valencia to Alfonso, whom he still considered to be his true liege. Thus the phrase usually attached to the Cid legend: ‘what a good vassal, if only he’d got a good King’. Alfonso, too late, realizes he has a true and loyal vassal, and sends help to defend Valencia. But the city is already under siege by a powerful Muslim army. Rodrigo, leading a charge against them, is mortally wounded. Their followers are in dismay. The enemy is at the gates, their leader agonizing. If Valencia falls, the rest of the Peninsula will go after it. What to do? 

Rodrigo’s wife –Doña Jimena- comes up into the stage. She’s got an idea. Has Rodrigo’s corpse tied on a white horse, holding a white standard and in white armor, with his sword, Tizona, attached to his hand. No, Tizona was not white, it was a sword by God shake. A scaffolding holds Rodrigo’s corpse on the horse. And instead releasing the dogs of war, Doña Jimena released a dead man very much to the same Shakespearian outcome. The Muslims panic on the sight of a supposed dead man leading a charge against them. They flee, because as soldiers come, they are so little used to see dead people that they can not stand their ground against this one. And Rodrigo keeps charging, nobody able to reach him to take his horse back to Valencia, being lost forever in the misty shadows of legend and romance. Solemn music. The End. What? Yes, Spain may be very sunny but we actually do have mists some and then. Ours is a country of miracles... 

Basic cibergraphy and videography

Knowing it's impossible to be exhaustive, here you have some links and docs if you want to know more. And if you still think it is very little for you, you know what to do. Get into the internet and look 'the Cid' up in your favorite internet search engine. Internet, you know, is great and it's got a lot of info and stuff. But info is worthless if you don't actually look for it and read it and change it into formation. And, of course, nobody is going to do that for you...

• Spanish wikipedia on the Cid. https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rodrigo_D%C3%ADaz_de_Vivar
• Simple English version for those of you that feel a little bit bolder today. https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/El_Cid
• Spanish wikipedia on 'Swearing of Santa Gadea', a key -but not contrasted- event of the 'Romance de Mío Cid' . https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jura_de_Santa_Gadea
• And this one is about the King Alfonso VI. https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfonso_VI_de_Le%C3%B3n
• There is a veru good classical film about this subject, 'The Cid' (1961), featuring Charlton Heston as the Cid and Sofia Loren as Doña Jimena (the Cid's wife).
• There is a lot of info and data about el Cid and its era in this great history website: http://www.historynet.com/the-genius-of-el-cid.htm



A la versión en castellano

...Rodrigo Diaz de Vivar, el Cid

La historia detrás de la leyenda

"La Jura de Santa Gadea", óleo de Hiráldez Acosta (1864), actualmente expuesto en la sede del Senado Español

Un nuevo enemigo.

          Suena una música solemne de fondo. En nuestro televisor imaginario la escena nos muestra una llanura desolada y arrasada, y a lo lejos un pequeño pueblo despide penachos de humo grasiento y negruzco. Mientras la cámara realiza un lento zoom que nos acerca al pueblo saqueado, un narrador comienza a... bueno, a narrar. "A finales del siglo XI, España era un país dividido y agitado"

          ¿Perdón? ¿Qué? Si, bueno, vale. España todavía es un país dividido y agitado. No, en serio, era mucho peor en aquella época. Ya, ya, vale, realmente no mucho peor. Pero un poquito sí. ¿Vale? ¿Podemos seguir? Genial.

            Suena una música solemne de fondo otra vez. El narrador se aclara su metafórica garganta y continua. "La tierra estaba en manos de señores y reyes, mientras la mitad del país estaba bajo el dominio de los musulmanes. Desde Marruecos, un nuevo imperio emerge, amenazando a cristianos y musulmanes por igual: (redoble de tambores) el Califato de los Almohades." ¿Véis? Tampoco era tan dificil estarse calladitos y escuchar. Hombre ya.

          En el año 1090 los almohades, después de inventar las almohadas (un arma terrible, la almohada) invaden la Península, derrotando uno a uno a los pequeños reyes musulmanes que dominaban el sur y dispuestos a avanzar hacia el norte para hacer frente a los reinos cristianos. El más importante de todos ellos era el Reino de Castilla. Y le iba a tocar a su rey, Fernando I, hacer frente a esta nueva amenaza.

Una sucesión problemática.
           Pero Fernando era un anciano, y murió poco antes de tener que hacer frente a este nuevo enemigo. De acuerdo con la tradición, Fernando dividió sus posesiones entre sus tres hijos, igual que tú harás con tus propios hijos algún día. Por estas fechas nuestro protagonista, Rodrigo Díaz, señor de Vivar, era ya un famoso e importante caballero al servicio del hijo mayor de Fernando, llamado Sancho. De hecho, Rodrigo era su escudero personal y amigo íntimo.

Los hijos de Fernando hicieron lo mismo que puedes esperar que harán tus hijos en el momento en el que estés comoda y -esperamos- permanentemente muerto. Empezar a pelearse por la herencia. Sólo que cuando eres rey, y tus hermanos también, la típica disputa de sobremesa sobre quién se quedó con la vajilla de mamá tiene todas las posibilidades de convertirse en una guerra abierta que incluya duelos de indirectas retorcidas, intercambio de miradas significativas y, cuando las cosas se pongan feas de verdad, el uso de cucharas.  

 Sancho II ganó aquella guerra, en parte gracias a la ayuda de Rodrigo, y se convirtió en Rey de Castilla, León y Galicia. Pero su hermana, señora de Zamora, se rebela también poco después. Se llamaba Urraca. ¿Y ahora qué pasa? Me ofende profundamente. Urraca es un nombre castellano muy castizo y perfectamente válido. Para un pájaro.

              La cosa se pone fea porque el hermano pequeño de Sancho, llamado Alfonso, huye y se refugia con su hermana en Zamora. Menuda familia. Imaginaos las cenas navideñas... De nuevo, Rodrigo participa en otra guerra civil. A veces parece que en Castilla es una especie de deporte nacional: fútbol, toros, y matarnos unos a otros. Pero durante el asedio de Zamora el rey Sancho II es asesinado por un vasallo de su hermano Alfonso cuando acudía a reunirse con él para acordar una tregua. Por supuesto, esto hizo que Sancho perdiera el partido por muerte accidental. Pero además atrajo ciertas... como decirlo... sospechas sobre la persona de su hermano Alfonso, puesto que era el principal beneficiario de su muerte. Pero dado que el detective Colombo no estaba de servicio aquel día, pues nadie se atrevió a rebuscar mucho.

"Portillo de la Traición", en Zamora, por la que según la leyenda Bellido Dolfos, asesino de Sancho II, se refugia dentro de las murallas de Zamora para escapar a la venganza de El Cid.

La Jura de Santa Gadea.

Bueno, miento cual bellaco. En realidad nuestro amigo Rodrigo Díaz, que estaba con Sancho en el momento de su muerte pero no pudo salvar a su amigo, va a atreverse. Y de forma realmente espectacular. La cosa va así. Alfonso es proclamado rey en la iglesia burgalesa de Santa Gadea. En Castilla, y luego en España hasta hoy día, a los reyes no los coronamos. No no. Los proclamamos. la corona se supone que la tienen que traer ellos de casa. Después de todo, los castellanos somos un pueblo austero. Después de ser proclamado, el rey recibe el vasallaje de todos sus nuevos súbditos, reunidos para la ocasion. Uno a uno, todos los grandes del reino se arrodillan ante el rey Alfonso VI y le juran fidelidad y obediencia. Y aquí llega el turno de Rodrigo. Y el tío va y no se arrodilla. Ea, ya se lió.

           Frente a todos los perplejos y atónitos señores laicos y eclesiásticos de Castilla, Rodrígo Díaz, señor de Vivar, exige a su nuevo rey que, sobre una Biblia, jure no haber conspirado ni permitido que se conspire contra la vida de su hermano Sancho. De hecho, Rodrigo toma la mano del rey y le obliga a ponerla sobre una Biblia. Alfonso sonríe, asegurandose de enseñar bien todos los dientes, y accede a jurar. Sólo entonces Rodrigo se arrodilla y jura a su vez lealtad al rey. Alfonso, con toda la pinta de ser un hombre muy muy muy feliz en ese momento, decidió que le debía una a aquel tipo. Pequeña lección chicos y chicas: no mosqueéis a un rey.

El exilio. Rodrígo se convierte en El Cid.

Mientras Sancho, Alfonso y Rodrigo representan su particular función de Juego de Tronos, los almohades consolidan sus conquistas en el sur y se lanzan contra Toledo. Alfonso VI quiere hacerles frente en batalla campal, pero Rodrigo se lo desaconseja. A pesar de todo, Alfonso reúne a todos sus vasallos y se enfrenta a los musulmanes al sur de Toledo, en la batalla de Sagrajas. Fue un desastre del que a duras penas escapa el propio rey. Además, Rodrigo no asoma la nariz por el campo de batalla, y Alfonso, que por algún extraño motivo esperaba que su vasallo hiciese lo que se le decía, se mosquea. Mucho. Le acusa de ser el culpable de la derrota. Le condena al exilio, confisca sus bienes y amenaza de muerte a todo aquel que le ayudase. Oficialmente, el señor de Vivar se había convertido en "felon", un traidor, un noble sin honor ni palabra. Así que decidió convertirse en mercenario.

Como tal, Rodrigo vendía su espada a quien quisiera darle uso. Cuando digo que vendía su espada (a la que llamaba Tizona y tenía especial cariño), queremos decir que incluía el brazo que la sujetaba, el cuerpo vinculado a dicho brazo y unos doscientos o así guerreros que decidieron acompañarle en su exilio. Pronto se convierte en amigo del Emir de Zaragoza, el ultimo señor musulmán independiente en la Península, y enemigo de los almohades. Será este emir quien dé a Rodrigo el nombre por el que le conocemos. Le llamaran "al-Sidi", que en árabe quiere decir "el señor" y que los castellanos, con ese don natural que tenemos para los idiomas extranjeros, acabamos convirtiendo en "el Cid". Del emir también obtiene nuestro héroe una información importante: que los almohades planean desembarcar en Valencia para, desde allí, subir hasta Zaragoza y, a través del valle del Ebro -el flanco expuesto de Castilla- arrasar con todo el territorio.



La Península en la época de El Cid. Fuente: www.historynet.com

El Cid cabalga hacia la leyenda.

Y aquí es donde la leyenda empieza. El Cid decide actuar. Se alía con el emir de Zaragoza y pide ayuda al rey de Castilla, con la intención de unir a todos los españoles, sin importar su credo, contra un enemigo extranjero. El plan es hacerse con Valencia y detener la operación Overlord de los almohades en la misma playa. Pero el rey Alfonso duda. No se fía.

Con una hábil estratagema, el Cid toma Valencia. Primero, asedia la ciudad hasta casi ponerla de rodillas por hambre. Después, la bombardea con hogazas de pan. Un poco como Hacienda, que primero te quita buena parte de tu sueldo y luego te devuelve un poquito y tu te quedas tan contento porque está claro que el sistema funciona.  Los guardias abandonan las murallas y el pueblo le abre las puertas recibiéndole como a un libertador. Sus seguidores quieren que El Cid se corone Rey de Valencia. Pero El Cid se niega. Aún considera que Alfonso es su señor. Empaqueta la corona y se la hace mandar. De ahí la frase con la que se suele asociar la figura de El Cid, y con la que todo español suele sentirse identificado: "¡Buen vasallo sería, si tuviese buen señor!"

       Conmovido, Alfonso VI decide enviar ayuda pero, ay, es tarde. Los almohades ya están aquí y Valencia está bajo asedio. Liderando una carga contra los atacantes, El Cid es herido de muerte y trasladado a sus aposentos, donde agoniza. Sus seguidores desfallecen. El enemigo a las puertas. Su líder muerto. Ningún auxilio a la vista. Si Valencia cae, la seguirá el resto de la Península. ¿Qué hacer?

         Igual que Ulises tuvo su Penélope, Rodrigo tiene su Jimena. Doña Jimena, la esposa de El Cid, ve llegado su momento. Tiene una idea. Hace que el cadáver de Rodrigo sea atado a su blanco caballo, vestido con una armadura blanca, un estandarte blanco en la mano, la espada Tizona en la otra, todo sujeto mediante cuerdas y andamios. Que no, que Tizona no era blanca, que es una espada, porelamordedios. A los españoles, además, lo del andamio es que se nos daba muy bien incluso en esa época remota. Al verlo a caballo otra vez, las huestes de Valencia recobran el ánimo. "¡El Cid vive! ¡Sus y a ellos! ¡Santiago y Cierra España! ¡Hipotecas baratas para todos! ¡Aquí pondremos Port Aventura!". Los valencianos cargan. Los almohadas se cagan. Los soldados musulmanes, que han visto muy poco muertos después de muertos, se ven venir a este y le ven cara de pocos amigos. Las huestes del Califa se desbandan, horrorizadas, bien por la imagen de un muerto a caballo, bien por cegados por tanto trapo blanco. Y Rodrigo Díaz de Vivar, el Cid Campeador, que ganó su última batalla después de muerto, siguió cabalgando sin que nadie fuera capaz de darle alcance y traerle de vuelta a Valencia, desapareciendo para siempre en las sombras místicas y nebulosas de la leyenda y los romances. Música solemne. Fin.

¿Qué? Si, en España tenemos mucho sol, pero ahora está gravado con impuestos y no nos gusta abusar de él. Y de vez en cuando también tenemos nieblas místicas, ¿vale? No es patrimonio de los ingleses, la niebla mística. Además, allí las empezaron a tener sobre todo por la contaminación de las fábricas. Aquí, como no tenemos tantas industrias, las nieblas las tenemos que hacer a la antigua. El nuestro es un país de prodigios.  

Videografía y cibergrafía básicas.

Sigue siendo imposible ser exhaustivo, pero en fin. Aquí van unos cuantos enlaces de internet y unos consejillos sobre pelis. Si os sigue pareciendo poco, ya sabéis. Buscad en internet "el Cid" y tendréis toda la información que queráis. Internet es genial y todo eso, pero la información está ahí fuera y no vale de nada si no la buscáis, os la leéis y os la metéis ahí dentro.

• Wikipedia en español sobre El Cid. https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rodrigo_D%C3%ADaz_de_Vivar
• Lo mismo, pero en version "inglés simple" para los que tengáis ánimo aventurero. https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/El_Cid
• Página de wikipedia en español sobre el Juramento de Santa Gadea, hecho clave en el romance del Cid pero no contrastado historicamente (que es mentira, vaya). https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jura_de_Santa_Gadea
• Este otro sobre Alfonso VI. https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfonso_VI_de_Le%C3%B3n
• En cuanto a pelis, está la clasica "El Cid" (1961) con Charlton Heston como El Cid y la fabulosa Sofía Loren en el papel de Doña Jimena, la esposa de El Cid.
• Hay mucha información sobre este tema en esta genial página web sobre historia:  http://www.historynet.com/the-genius-of-el-cid.htm

To the English version

Clio dreamed of... a guy called Guy

   

 Remember remember, the fifth of November, the Gunpowder treason and plot. I know no reason why the Gunpowder treason should ever be forgot... Next November 5th is Guy Fawkes' night in the U.K., and in an effort to share with you all the very funny and odd customs of the British peole -jocking mode on- and in order to commemorate such a famous and trascendental historical fact, we... What? You really don't know who Guy Fawkes was? Don't ypu know why it is so important the November 5th commemoration? Damn it! There is only one reason for that! You're nmot British, poor you! And even so, you should, as Spaniards werw... somehow involved in it. Anyway, I've got the medicine you need... a very little and short history pill. Choose your favourite language below and enjoy the story!

   Recuerden recuerden, el cinco de Noviembre, conspiración, pólvora y traición. No veo la demora y siempre es la hora de evocarla sin dilación... El próximo cinco de Noviembre es la Noche de Guy Fawkes en el Reino Unido, y en un esfuerzo por compartir con todos las muy extrañas y divertidas costumbres británicas (estoy de broma, me encanta ese país), y con el objetivo de conmemorar un acontecimiento histórico de tanta trascendecia, vamos a... ¿Qué? ¿De verdad no sabéis quién era Guy Fawkes? ¿No tenéis ni idea de por qué el cinco de Noviembre es una fecha tan importante? Jo...esteee...  ¡Oh cáspita! ¡Sólo existe una razón que justifique tamaña ignorancia! ¡No sois británicos, pobres de vosotros! Incluso así, deberíais saber, puesto que los españoles estuvimos... implicados en cierta forma en el asunto. No os alarméis, tengo la medicina que necesitáis... una pequeña y corta píldora de historia. Escoged vuestro idioma favorito debajo y disfrutad del relato.

A la versión en castellano

To the English version

... a guy called Guy

k

A Guy Fawkes mask

     

   Guy Fawkes. Yes. Ok. Here we go with the short version. The first thing you need to know to barely understand this is that, once upon a time, in a not so far land, people were killing each other on religion basis. All over Europe Kings and Queens and Princes and Dukes and stuff like that thoguht that the best way to prevent people to kill each other because of religion was to organize it and let the State kill people beacuse of religion, which was far better because... well, because it was more organized, because this way there was only one side killing all the others, because you could kill more people at once that if you let it to non-professional-religious-killers, because this way you were sure that only the wrong kind of people were going to be killed. And if you happen to be the wrong kind of people, then you would know, for sure, that you were going to be killed with all the due style, protocol and deserved pain that only wise and dedicated public servants could provide. The only question you had to decide was which religion was your country to officially follow and kill for.

          So, during the 16th and 17th centuries each country made its choice. Spain choose Roman Catholicism, as well as France and Italy. Germany was split between Protestant and Roman Catholicism. Netherlands became Calvinists (mostly) as well as Switzerland. England... became Anglican. What a country, man... Don't think that they asked people to vote their favourite religion. There were no voting. The way they decided their country religion was a national contest of kill-all-the-heretics. Ok, yes, it is a little bit like voting, but the other way round. We know this historical process as the European Religious Wars and, though we are trying to make a joke of it, keep in mind that a lot of innocent people were killed all over the 'civilized' Europe.  

Painting of the actual guy called Guy

             But to the point. England became Anglican.That means that the King or Queen became the Head of the Church (King and Pope all in one), and that all the public servants became Anglicans too. It does not means that nobody were Catholic. But it means that remaining Catholics had to be very very careful, because though it was forbidden to kill Anglicans because of their religion, it was allowed –and encouraged- to kill Catholics, among other banned religions. And our man, Guy –or Guido- Fawkes was Catholic. On November, the fifth, 1605, he tried to blow up the Parliament Houses while in session by, simply, setting fire to a score of gunpowder barrels he previously sneaked into the Parliament cellar. The King’s men caught him the very last moment –if in a James Bond film, you would have seen a countdown clock stopped at 1 second before the bang. From this moment on, Guy Fawkes and his face, characteristically featured by a long mustache and a short beard, became the representation of evil. It was said that the Pope and the King of Spain had paid Guy Fawkes to blow the Parliament Houses. It became a political and religious question –Spain was the main political enemy of England, and the Pope the main religious rival.

 

A lot of villains characters in movies are
 inspired in the iconic image of Guy Fawkes.

            This is why, boys and girls, the evil character in a lot of Hollywood and Disney films –the one who is bounding the defenseless princess to the railway just in time for the hero to save her before the train comes- is characterized with a long mustache –which he permanently combs while perversely smiling- and beard. 

          But there is also the other side of the coin. in this version, Guy Fawkes is not a villain, but a sort of hero, something like a Quixote, fighting against a tirannyc system an against owerwelming odds. Recently, a comic called “V for Vendetta” by Allan Moore, which eventually became a film, vindicated the name of Guy Fawkes not as a terrorist, but as a rebel hero who fought for religious freedom in the 17^th century England –he actually said so during the trial. And a not very formal bunch of people who fight –or so they say- against power abuses, uses his face in a mask as their banner. 

In the movies "Pirates of the Caribbean" we can watch this strange scene. Boths Guy Fawkes versions face to face. At one side, the unscrupulous villain. At the other, the unscrupulous hero. Sortin out who's who may be a little bit dificult, though.

           Anyway, during as long as four centuries Guy Fawkes was the bad guy of every story, theater play, film, cartoon and even nursery rhymes ever told. Lots of public figures, specially politicians all across Europe, have carefully avoided to bear mustache and short beard. No wonder why, nobody wants to be the bad guy... British boys and girls will be, right now, burning puppets of "The guy" in the streets and asking, door by door, for "A penny for the guy" And British mothers sang their sons this nursery rhyme to get them to sleep since the 17th century, which says a lot of what kids really like... here it is. 

    Remember, remember!
    The fifth of November,
    The Gunpowder treason and plot;
    I know of no reason
    Why the Gunpowder treason
    Should ever be forgot!
    Guy Fawkes and his companions
    Did the scheme contrive,
    To blow the King and Parliament
    All up alive.
    Threescore barrels, laid below,
    To prove old England's overthrow.
    But, by God's providence, him they catch,
    With a dark lantern, lighting a match!
    A stick and a stake
    For King James's sake!
    If you won't give me one,
    I'll take two,
    The better for me,
    And the worse for you.
    A rope, a rope, to hang the Pope,
    A penn'orth of cheese to choke him,
    A pint of beer to wash it down,
    And a jolly good fire to burn him.
    Holloa, boys! holloa, boys! make the bells ring!
    Holloa, boys! holloa boys! God save the King!
    Hip, hip, hooor-r-r-ray!  

Oh, please mom, sing it again... I liked very much the 'burning the Pope' part...

A la versión en castellano

Clio dreamed of... the First English Revolution

A Guy Fawkes mask

Remember remember, the fifth of November, the Gunpowder treason and plot. I know of no reason why the Gunpowder treason should ever be forgot... Next November 5th is Guy Fawkes' night in the U.K., and in an effort to share with you all the very funny and odd customs of the British people (joking mode on), and in order to commemorate such a famous and trascendental historical fact, we... What? You really don't know who Guy Fawkes was? Don't you know why it is so important the November 5th commemoration? Damn it! There is only one reason for that! You're not British, poor you! And even so, you should, as Spaniards were... somhow involved in it. Anyway I've got the medicine you need... a very little and short history pill. Choose your favourite language below and enjoy the story!

A Guy Fawkes mask            Remember remember, the fifth of November, the Gunpowder treason and plot. I know of no reason why the Gunpowder treason should ever be forgot... Next November 5th is Guy Fawkes' night in the U.K., and in an effort to share with you all the very funny and odd customs of the British people (joking mode on), and in order to commemorate such a famous and trascendental historical fact, we... What? You really don't know who Guy Fawkes was? Don't you know why it is so important the November 5th commemoration? Damn it! There is only one reason for that! You're not British, poor you! And even so, you should, as Spaniards were... somhow involved in it. Anyway I've got the medicine you need... a very little and short history pill. Choose your favourite language below and enjoy the story!

A

Mucho antes de que Francia guillotinase a su Rey, Inglaterra decapitó al suyo. Las dos revoluciones inglesas establecieron el modelo a partir del cual John Locke redactó sus escritos. Estos, a su vez, influyeron de forma decisiva en la filosofía de Jean Jacques Rousseau, y en especial en su "Contrato Social", los cuales sientan los verdaderos cimientos sobre los que se fundamenta lo que todos nosotros entendemos hoy como la democracia moderna. La Primera Revolución Inglesa -usualmente llamada la  Guerra Civil Inglesa- es un objeto de estudio secundario para el alumnado español. Tal vez se debe a que nuestra propia historiografía hunde sus raíces en la tradición francesa, mucho más centrada en su propia revolución. Pero, como pensamos que se trata de un desarrollo histórico clave, vamos a echarle un buen vistazo. Así que elegid vuestro lenguaje favorito y sumergíos -pero sin ahogaros- en la historia.

Long before France guillotined its King England beheaded its own. The English Revolutions -both of them- set up the model for John Locks writings, which, in turn, were the very foundations for Jean Jacques Rousseau´s 'The Social Contract', which, once again, set up what we now we all understand for a modern democracy. The first English Revolution -usually called the English Civil War- it's usually a bypassed study subject for Spanish students, perhaps because our own historic tradition has its roots in France and focus on the French Revolution. But, as we think it is an importan fact for understanding the European Modern and Contemporary history, we want you to have a closer look at it. So choose your most-loved language and get submerged -but not drown- into history.

A la versión en castellano

To the English version